06 September 2011
(actual time)
Dear Despoina and Periwinkle,
Sorry for not keeping in touch the past few days. I was sick and bed-ridden. I had pneumonia but I’m better now. Thanks to the very effective medicine that the doctor prescribed. Though it was too late for me to know the effects of taking it and drinking tea, so now I’m sleepless. Hehehe…
Anyway, I miss you both. I know I worried you too much. Sorry… I guess I just got a bit used to the people who are always with me and doesn’t seem to care of me. Let me tell you how I went through while I was sick. It was so frustrating… And my apologies in advance for the drama. I just can’t help it.
During the past few days while I was sick, Mom didn’t even bother to be more considerate of my condition. Whenever she arrives, all I hear is her complaint about money matters. No, she doesn’t complain about me not giving her money. What she whines about is her delayed salary, our lack of stuff in the house, the unfinished painting job in the second floor, etc. Still, if you’ll read between the lines and if you are me who knows her very well it only means one thing: that I don’t seem to help in the expenses. Her whinings seem to have added to my headaches.
My point here is this… She should not be doing those things coz we are not freeloaders in the house. I also share in the house expenses and I’m the one who buys stuff in the house. Me and my son are sick and she is aware of that. I’ve been buying medicine for both of us lately and medicines these days are not cheap. We also had a check-up. And it just so happened that my salary has been delayed a bit. Can’t she be a bit considerate? Like talk in a more appropriate manner? I’m not illiterate, I can clearly understand things. But whenever she talks to me, she snaps or her tone is like she’s always picking a fight. So mostly, to avoid arguments, I just don’t talk to her.
Another point, I had cough and colds that are about to vanish when she started to have the second floor painted. I wasn’t informed that the paint has a terrible harmful smell. That time, my son just recovered from his colds too. When the painting took place, our illness instead of disappearing even worsened.
At that time, she worried too much on my son. I understand coz that’s how grandparents usually behave. But one night when she went home from work, she gave my son a pasalubong of burger and my girl cousin an orange. Sorry but I can’t help but feel annoyed. I really frowned. I’m the one who’s sick and needs Vitamin C. I’m the daughter and I don’t even get enough care and attention.
Why is she like this? Because she and my relatives from her side always think that I’m fortunate. I’m lucky coz I graduated in a good university. I’m lucky coz I have a nice job and earning well. I’m lucky coz I can eat wherever I want and anything I want. I can buy the things I like and I got lots of money (REALLY?!). I’m lucky coz I don’t seem to have problems. Those are their crazy basis of being lucky.
Now since you girls both know me well will agree with me when I say that I am not really lucky. Yes I’m grateful for graduating in a good university. That and my job/s somehow make me feel lucky. But the material things as basis, it’s just insane! Those stuff are not really what I want. Yes I like my notebook and gadgets. But the real things I TRULY want are things I can’t buy nor beg for. And my concerns are worse than what they have. I just don’t whine to them coz I was traumatized with what they did to me before.
I can only feel lucky if my kin would realize my worth and show even the slightest affection. If they would care for me not because I have a few bucks but because they really do care.
Despoina and Periwinkle, I wish we’re sisters coz at least you both make me feel like I have a family. Because the one I have has turned me far worse than an orphan since I was a little kid. I miss you both so much…
Love you both,
shiveringbluestar
